Relationship Advice Expert

A lot of people have the wrong kind of love and don’t even know
it. If you are experiencing any of the following issues I have
listed in this article, then you definitely have that wrong kind
of love. You can try to fix it, if you have the time and
patience, and if you think that there is something special about
your guy. But if all you are getting from him is lots of
heartache, then it is time to dump the load that is weighing you
down and move on. Now let’s get to it. If you have any of the
following in your current relationship, you have a serious
decision to make:

Your man verbally abuses you on a daily basis - Does your man
get his high from berating you every chance he gets? He tells
you how you just don’t know anything - you are dumb, fat, and
stupid. He has no regard for your opinion or feelings about any
subject. Even when you go out of your way to prepare his
favorite dish for him, he never has anything positive to say. If
this is the kind of man you have in your life, you need to think
seriously about finding a healthy relationship - one that builds
your self-esteem and values what you bring to the table. As a
result of the verbal abuse, you may have developed anxiety
attacks that make your life a living hell. According to the
creator of the Linden Method that guarantees to cure anxiety
attacks, Charles Linden, “You aren’t going mad, you are one of
20 million people in the USA alone who suffer with ANXIETY
DISORDER and/or PANIC DISORDER and if that is the case, I
promise you that this is the most important website you will
ever find.”

From time to time, he physically abuses you - If he gets angry
and pushes or slaps you around to let you know he is the boss,
you absolutely do not have the right kind of guy. Now bear in
mind that some guys are able to change this behavior, but you
must give your particular situation some serious thought. Start
by getting professional help.

Just because he apologizes and tells you he loves you with all
his heart, after beating you into a pulp, does not mean he loves
you. If this is his way of expressing his love for you, then you
don’t want this kind of love. You could wind up in a ditch
somewhere, if you are not proactive about changing your
situation. Access the link above now, do not waste one more
minute.

He feels he is doing you a favor by staying with you - Does he
make you feel that he is doing you a favor by being with you? Is
your love life starting to feel like “Sympathy Love?” When you
cry about how he is treating you, he feels bad and hangs around.
Stop it. If your guy cannot love you for who you are, then there
is absolutely no reason why you should continue that kind of
relationship. Your guy ought to be happy to be with you. If he
is not, then you ought to let him go. You will be better off
when you finally find a man that derives joy from fulfilling
your heart’s romantic desires.

He never makes any effort to spend quality time with you - It is
common sense that people want to spend time with those they love
and care, while staying far away from those they despise or
barely tolerate. What it boils down to is this; if you have to
force him to make time for you, especially when he is not too
busy with work, then that is a big hint that he does not want to
be around you. Don’t wait around to be hit with a big stick for
you to get it through your head.

He flirts with other women in your presence - This is one of the
worst forms of disrespect. Flirting with another woman in your
presence is a rude and crude way of letting you know that what
you feel or think is immaterial. It is a way of telling you, “If
you like, you can leave me or you can stay, but I will do what I
want with whoever I want.” There is no way you can have a happy
relationship without respect.

He goes out on the weekends and comes home the next day - This
is worse than flirting with another woman in your presence. If
this happens often then that is a strong clue that he is having
an affair and really wants to move on with his life, but doesn’t
quite know how to verbalize it.

He is constantly trying to lie his way out of a lie - This one
ties right into the last point - coming home the next day when
he goes out on weekends. If he is telling a lie to get himself
out of the last one he told, then it is time for you to move on,
unless of course you want to drain your energy and enthusiasm
for life with a loser. Before you go, you can do some detective
work yourself to get the hard evidence you need to bust him and
his lies.

He is not supportive of your goals and aspirations - If he is
not supportive of your goals and aspirations, it means that he
does not value you or what you want to do with your life. Love
cannot last when one party’s dreams and goals are the only ones
being pursued, discussed or nurtured.

No matter how bad your situation is, you can change your
situation. Learn how to get your man to fall madly in love by
getting a copy of Passion Keys at smartwomansguide.com. You will
learn the quickest way to take romantic relationship to a whole
new level.

If you are unsure if your current relationship can be salvaged,
try to get the objective opinions of trusted family members.
Often times they are able to help you decide whether to stay in
your relationship and work things out or simply grab your bag
and turn a new leaf. If you do make the decision to move on, you
want to make sure you do not jump into the arms of the next
sweet-looking devil you run into. You can’t afford to make the
mistake of having lightening strike you twice. Looks can be
deceiving. Just because a man looks gentle and acts like he has
princely manners, does not mean he is a nice guy. Bad guys know
how to act nice, until they know you have fallen in love with
them.

Take your time to get to know the next guy you want to be
romantically involved with. Find out who he really is, and not
who he appears to be.

Find out how to get your man to give you the right kind of love
by visiting: http://www.smartwomansguide.com.

The question of what defines the perfect relationship need not be that complicated. This type of relationship is defined, simply, as one in which two people who want the same things from the relationship are paired with each other.

That doesn’t mean that what defines a perfect relationship is that both love to play baseball, and drink margaritas. Nor does it mean that both love mystery novels and horror movies. What it does mean is that both enter the relationship for the same level of commitment and agreeing on the major issues.

A woman who wants to get married and have three kids is not going to have the perfect relationship with someone who thinks the most commitment he’ll ever make is moving in together. Nor is this type of relationship one in which they both want marriage but only one of them wants to have children.

The perfect relationship is possible, though perfection is seldom achieved. Having something close to perfection in a relationship, or at least the absence of disaster, takes a lot of introspection and quite a bit of effort. Before you really start looking for that perfect relationship you must know what defines a perfect relationship for you. Not doing so and entering the dating arena would be tantamount to entering a contest without knowing what determines the winner.

When it comes time for you to think about what defines the perfect relationship question you need to think about several things.

You need to think, first of all, if marriage defines your perfect relationship. Have you thought for years about your beautiful wedding day? Have you fantasized about the white picket fence and the two children you and your spouse will have and raise? Or might you be perfectly happy, or even prefer, a live-in arrangement with maybe only a mortgage or business commitment together?

When you think about your perfect relationship do you see it defined as one in which the two of you grow old and grey together? Or might you be monogamous with one partner for a few years and then perhaps go on to another and go it alone for awhile?

How do you feel about children? Are they part of what defines your relationship? Might you tolerate a blended family in which you would be raising someone else’s children, the children of your new partner by a prior relationship? Or do you run kicking and screaming the other way when a potential mate mentions children? Is being your best friend part of what defines your perfect relationship? Or, do you prefer something more casual, with the title best friend kept for your drinking buddy?

Just how independent you are also is a large part of deciding what defines your perfect relationship. Are you looking for a partner who will be by your side for every special occasion, meal and recreation, or do you need a few nights with friends, or by yourself?

The answer, then, to what defines the perfect relationship, lies within you. After all, it’s your relationship!

A common issue that gets in the way of having great
relationships is Jealousy.

We put the issue of Jealousy into two camps.

1) Where one or both partners have broken past commitments and
there is jealousy between them. And

2) Where one partner is jealous of their partner and there
doesn’t seem to be a reason for the jealousy.

This 2nd scenario is the one we will be addressing in this
article.

One of the questions we are most frequently asked concerning
jealousy goes something like this…

“My partner is extremely jealous (especially of people at work)
and there is no reason for him/her to feel this way… please
help me to understand what is going on…”

When it comes to someone feeling jealous without apparent cause
the number one reason is because of fear.

The person that is jealous may not see it this way or be willing
to admit it at first–but at the core of almost all jealousy is
a fear that they may lose their partner and their needs for
love, friendship and affection will no longer be met.

The second ingredient that is almost always present when someone
is jealous in a relationship is a lack of trust.

This can either be a lack of trust in their partner because of
past actions or a lack of trust in their partner’s ability to
make conscious choices and decisions about their conduct when
they are with other people.

If your partner says “I trust you but I don’t trust the people
you work with or other people you socialize with” then you can
just translate that to mean “I don’t trust your ability to make
conscious decisions about your conduct with other people when
I’m not there.”

If jealousy is an issue that you want to heal in your
relationships, the first thing you must do is have the
willingness and courage to talk about the issue in a
non-judgmental way with each other.

First of all you must define and make clear what your
commitments and agreements are to each other. Talk with each
other about ways that can allow the jealous partner to feel more
secure. Then create conscious agreements for how you will act in
situations that could feel threatening to the one who is
jealous.

Early in our relationship, one of the things that we agreed to
do in social situations was to occasionally make eye contact
with each other throughout the evening. For us, creating and
following through on this agreement built trust between us and
helped dissolve the jealousy issue before it became a bigger
problem.

Another thing that has been helpful when we are working with
people on issues surrounding jealousy is to encourage them to
become more conscious of the patterns from previous
relationships that they may be repeating in their current
relationship.

Sometimes a person in a relationship may be jealous of their
partner and it may have nothing to do with the reality of their
present relationship. If this is the case, healing can take
place when they recognize that the feelings they have that are
triggering jealousy are about previous relationships and not the
present one. No matter what the reason for the jealous feelings,
fear is at the bottom of it.

In dealing with your fears surrounding jealousy, it’s important
to recognize where fear comes from.

We’ve heard that fear is an acronym for: False Evidence
Appearing Real

If there’s no legitimate reason for the jealousy, we suggest
that you and your partner spend some time and look at where the
fears are coming from that have brought up the jealous feelings.
Then create a strategy for how you will deal with these feelings
in the future.

There’s no denying that maintaining a relationship is a lot of work. Almost fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, and many wonder how people can maintain their relationships over their entire lives. To that end, we’ve created this article to help showcase some tips that can help you to get through the rough spots in your relationship and keep you happy throughout the duration of your courting.

- It’s important to keep a light mood in a relationship. While trust and maturity are important to a relationship, it’s important to be lighthearted. Relationships are supposed to make us happy; many of us often forget this simple fact and end up getting nothing but grief and stress. Be sure that you can joke with your partner, and that they can poke fun at you.

- Try your best not to focus on your differences. If the two of you are in disagreement on a topic, discuss it once and then try to avoid the issue if you’re still in conflict. The more differentiation between the two individuals in a relationship, the more problems generally arise. For that reason, it’s important to keep conflicts to a minimum.

- Keep things interesting. While routines can be simple to follow, it’s important to think outside of the box in your relationship to keep an aspect of excitement present. Take a spontaneous trip, or pick up a new hobby with your loved one to help add a little touch of excitement to the relationship. It often works wonders in helping couples that have been going through the same motions for years and years.

- Be sure to forgive each other when problems arise. The more that you let a problem stew inside of you, the more likely you are to blow up when the issue comes up in conversation. That’s not fair for your partner, so discuss things as they need to be discussed, and then leave the issues in the past unless a future experience merits further discussion of it.

- If living together, or seeing each other altogether too often, it’s important to get some time away from your loved one. Being apart for a little while shows you that the things that you may take for granted in your relationship may be more important than you realize. Being able to lead your own lives is important in a relationship, and it is not a factor that should be brushed to the side.

DATING ADVICE UK: Ready to Date and Find a Relationship?

Are you ready to date and find a relationship? You may think you are but if you are still playing the looser in the dating game its time to learn how to move on. Learn what you need to handle before dating, and relationships are going to work for you.

Ready to start dating to find a relationship?

Well – are you ready to start dating? This may apply to whether you have been dating or are new to dating again after a long-term relationship. “Of course I am”, you may say, but it is surprising how many people I talk to who say they are ready but when we dig a bit deeper all kinds of dating/relationship/life issues surface. How about the lady who said she was ready but there was a certain man who had been around in the background for 11 years? Or the woman who likewise is ready but never has the time even to go to the hairdressers or check her bank statement because of the hours she works?

What gets in the way of successful dating?

So much can get in the way of being ready to date successfully and find a relationship. These are a few of the things that are common:-

â?¢ Still holding emotional baggage from previous relationships
â?¢ Being in the middle of legal chaos
â?¢ Working such long hours that you can’t find the time
â?¢ Over -commitment to family
â?¢ People in your life who hold you back
â?¢ Not knowing what you really want in a life

Wherever you may be, it is important that you give yourself a dating/relationship road check. By that I mean looking at all areas of your life so that you are clear what you need to handle before you could possibly start getting into a relationship. This may sound trite but to be successful in relationships you need to find a way to be successful in life. Relationships are not an isolated part of our lives but a reflection of how we live our lives in general. If your life is in balance it is much more possible that you will be able to find, and build upon, a successful relationship.

Building a Life That is Ready for Relationship

I just mentioned a relationship road-check. If you are going to be ready to go on the â??road’ so to speak what needs to be in place? These are some areas that I suggest you look at:-

â?¢ Physical/emotional health
â?¢ Work/career
â?¢ Lifestyle
â?¢ Money
â?¢ Family
â?¢ Friends
â?¢ Environment - home etc.
â?¢ Relationships

What you need to do is to first honestly summarise where you are in all these areas. Secondly take a look at what you might need to do to resolve any or all of the issues that are currently outstanding. If for instance under “friendship” you realise that the people you mostly socialise with are only interested in going to bars & getting drunk and you have had enough of this. You need to find people who want to do the kinds of things that you would find interesting and satisfying. Your working life is less than satisfying, how can you turn this round? Remember small steps can make a big difference and I am not talking about doing this overnight. It is not a makeover programme but a life programme. It’s about getting more focused and into action on your own behalf.

Now Get Ready for Dating and Relationship

Now you have a plan for handling some areas of your life that need attention you can also look at where you are in terms of dating and relationship. The old saying “success breeds success” may be very annoying when your life does not resemble anything like success. Just a pause here to note that success is whatever success means for you not what others might judge to be success. I can assure you that when you begin to take the steps towards becoming more successful in one area of your life there are knock on effects that impact on other areas.

Without doubt you will begin to show up differently to those around you. Those friends who held you back or not even knowing how much you have in the bank can be a thing of the past. This is about standing up and taking responsibility for your life so that you can take responsibility for the successful relationship that you really want. Take one step at a time making sure that all the steps are going in the same direction and you will realise that you can get your life moving on the relationship road.

Today I will discuss some simple, yet effective techniques that will help break down walls you may be building in your relationship. It does not make any difference if you are married or not. When two people value their relationship but have differences they are failing to resolve, something must be done. If nothing is done, the relationship will degrade, eventually resulting in either a breakup, divorce or the couple staying together but living an unhappy life. You obviously didn’t form your relationship with this outcome in mind.

One thing that you must understand is that it will take some effort to turn things in the right direction in your relationship. Any and all relationships take some nurturing to keep them healthy and happy. If you don’t believe this or are not willing to put forth any effort at all, reading this article may be a waste of your time. If you are ready to take a positive step that could produce amazing results, please read on.

Constructive communication is downright scary for many couples. Too many times the recipient of the message feels they are being attacked and goes into a defensive mode, many times with a counter-attack. When this happens, not only the constructive facet of communication is lost, but future communication is also jeopardized resulting in a destructive pattern. Rules of communication must be set, agreed to, and adhered to during your conversations.

Planned discussions with rules are a great way to foster constructive communication. When discussions are planned in advance by both parties, decided when and how often they are held, a potential threat of “who’s attacking who” is removed. For example, you and your partner agree to talk about your relationship every Sunday after lunch at 1:00 PM. You agree to stick to this schedule for 2 months, after which you decide if this schedule is working well or not. If you’ve made a lot of progress by then, perhaps you could switch to a monthly schedule. Below, I will summarize the steps to this simple, but effective approach to healthy communication.

1. Sit down with your partner and come to agreement on the following. What times and days will you have your discussions? Agree on rules. Discussions are always to be constructive. Try to present your case in a non-aggressive manner. “When you do this it makes me feel this way…” is a better approach than “You must hate me and not care about me because you always do this…” Always remember to stay calm. Arguing or raising your voice is not an option. After a couple meetings, you may have most of your main issues on the table. If you get through these initial meetings, it should get easier as you go.

2. At the beginning of each meeting, each partner will take turns speaking. When one is speaking, the listener should only listen and not interject comments. This is a time for the listener to do a self-evaluation and not look for a good comeback, but truly try to see it from their partner’s viewpoint. The speaker should remember to follow the rules of healthy communication. Do not portray your case as blaming or you will not get the results you are seeking. You may want to take notes about what your partner is saying and read those notes throughout the week. If you care about making changes for the good of the relationship, taking notes will help you keep your partner’s concerns fresh in your mind so you can act on them.

3. After each of you have voiced your concerns, now it’s time for you (again, one at a time) to recognize each other’s progress since the last meeting. Discuss any changes the other has made in their habits or behavior, no matter how small. Let them know that you noticed their changes and appreciate it. Remember, it takes time to change. Don’t expect rapid changes in your partner or you’ll disappoint yourself. If this is your very first meeting, simply tell your partner some things you appreciate about them. Finishing each meeting with positive discussion will help to “lighten the air”. You don’t want to leave a meeting with knots in your stomach!

I have shared with you some very basic techniques that can help you to make positive changes in your relationship. These techniques will only work if both partners are willing to put forth some effort, refrain from engaging in the blame game and be willing to take a serious look at their behavior.

Free relationship compatibility tests - Jerome and Angela had a whirlwind romance. He met Angela at a party and was smitten by her charms. After spending weeks in a resort and enjoying each other’s company, both decided they were made for each other and took the plunge. Barely a year into the marriage, the two broke up blaming the break up on incompatibility.

A large percentage of couples who break up blame it on incompatibility. Compatibility can mean being able to live and exist together without conflict. But would it help couples if they take free relationship compatibility tests before they get serious in the relationship?

Any couple can avail of the free relationship compatibility tests offered by various online matchmaking dating websites. Most dating websites offer free relationship compatibility tests as part of their service for their members, majority of whom are looking for possible longtime partners.

Each person has his own personality and quirks. You can just imagine the struggle that has to be faced by two people with different personalities living together in a single space. For how long can they bear the challenge of living together?

Free relationship compatibility tests can more or less give couples an idea of their chances in the relationship game. By taking relationship personality tests, couples are given a chance to know each other’s personality type and if such personality type matches their own. If not, then it can serve as a warning to the other as to what he has to live with if he decides to make a go of the relationship.

So what can couples expect when undergoing a free relationship compatibility test? Couples are tested on a variety of factors including their intuitive sense, how they process the information they get and how they apply such information in their daily lives including the relationships they have.

While compatibility tests does not assure couples that they will live happily ever after, undergoing relationship compatibility tests and passing them will however give them a better chance of keeping the relationship intact, Couples should not take relationship compatibility tests as something that would make the relationship work and last. Rather, they should treat relationship compatibility tests as a map that will give them an idea of what kind of person they are going to live with for the rest of their lives.

Determining the compatibility of a couple through a relationship test plays a great role in taming their expectations of each other. Knowing the personality trait of your partner can go a long way in adjusting your expectations and behavior towards that person as against not knowing anything about him at all.

The relationship compatibility test may reveal that you are more on the rational side while your partner tends to be emotional. Knowing this will give both of you the opportunity to rely on each other’s strengths when certain relationship issues come along.

There are several aspects in a relationship that are considered when taking free compatibility tests such as how the couples communicate with each other, how they view money matters, their attitude towards sex, values and how they view gender roles.

One of the reasons behind the “incompatibility” claim made by couples is the difference in the way they communicate with each other. Most often, the culprit is not really incompatibility by itself but failure to communicate properly. Proper communication with each other is the key to a successful relationship.

Another aspect that has caused problems in many relationships and has in fact been the major cause of break up is the lack of sexual compatibility. Knowing how you are your partner match and fare in your sexual preferences can make or break your relationship.

It is also important to take note of a couple’s perspective towards money and how it should be spent. Another important aspect is how each partner views gender roles in the family. A person may be too caught up with his machismo to the point of getting into constant arguments with his partner as to who would do the dishes.

Keeping relationships healthy and successful really depends on compatibility or how you co-exist. Taking free relationship compatibility tests can reveal a totally new person from the one you have been accustomed to. Knowing your personality styles can help you make that final decision and commitment to your partner.

Copyright 2006, Vincent Yim - www.eDatingHub.com